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Forgive and Forget: Letting Go of Emotional Pain

Gandhi once said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Indeed, it is easier to pretend to “forget” something and ignore it, and it is even easier still to hold a grudge. What is difficult, however, is to forgive; to pardon those whom have hurt us, to smile and to say you accept their apology, and to actually mean it.

But did you know that people who are more forgiving actually experience a higher level of physical and emotional wellness?

Psychologist Dr. Kathleen Row has found that forgiving people are healthier, happier, and even age better than those who hold on to grievances. She says, “when someone resists forgiving, they don’t want to accept what really happened; they think that if they stay angry they can somehow undo the past.”

By contrast, forgiving people accept the reality of their own experiences, and this ability to cope translates into better emotional health. Learning to forgive and let go of resentment decreases your stress and depression, boosting the overall health of your body and mind.

The Art of Forgiveness

Like most new things, learning to forgive may require some practice. In order to set you on the road to happiness and well-being, we have compiled a list of tips from Robert Enright, PhD, author of Forgiveness Is a Choice:

  1. Start Small: Practice forgiving someone for a single, small slight.
  2. Don’t Just Say It, Show It: Cement your decision to forgive by offering some small kindness to the person who offended you, even if it’s just a smile.
  3. Pass Along The Gift: Remember when someone forgave you, and think of forgiveness as a present you can pass on to someone else.
Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Well, just remember that all journeys of life start out with one single step. It’s for you—for your own good—don’t let your grudge hurt yourself.

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